Thus, they remain more emotionally open to all possibilities and more intellectually agile to a fluid situation. For example, asking for extra vacation. The Percent Rule Albert Mehrabian created the rule. Exploit the similarity principle. Use this voice most of the time. Let the other side anchor monetary negotiations. As they talk, imagine that you are that person. Test it with the Rule of Three: Labels can be phrased as statements or questions.
The reasons why a counterpart will not make an agreement with you are often more powerful than why they will make a deal, so focus first on clearing the barriers to agreement. Thus, they remain more emotionally open to all possibilities and more intellectually agile to a fluid situation. Going too fast is one of the mistakes all negotiators make. Properly delivered, it invites the other side to participate in your dilemma and solve it with a better offer. What are we up against here? What is it that brought us into this situation? There is always a team on the other side. Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there. Start out with an accusation audit acknowledging all of their fears. The New Rules Negotiation begins with the universally applicable premise that people want to be understood and accepted. Because these accusations often sound exaggerated when said aloud, speaking them will encourage the other person to claim that quite the opposite is true. Then consciously label each negative feeling and replace it with positive, compassionate, and solution-based thoughts. Will cause problems and create pushback. How am I supposed to do that? So use labels to reinforce and encourage positive perceptions and dynamics. Note that anchoring too high interferes with collaboration. The more you talk about non-salary terms, the more likely you are to hear the full range of their options. You always have to identify and unearth their motivations even if they are not directly involved. You should use calibrated questions early and often, and there are a few that you will find that you will use at the beginning of nearly every negotiation. Though the intensity may differ from person to person, you can be sure that everyone you meet is driven by two primal urges: If you are not influencing those behind the table, you are vulnerable. Use selectively to make a point. Visualize yourself in the position they describe and put in as much detail as you can as if you were actually there. Labels can be phrased as statements or questions. However, protect yourself from being anchored by premeditating your own goal and by viewing their offer as outrageous. Positive leverage is quite simply your ability as a negotiator to provide—or withhold—things that your counterpart wants.
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